Short and angry about sums me up at the moment. I’ll go deeper into this malaise later in the week but for now this is my brief reaction to yesterday’s game. Apart from “Christ this is bad”.
What did I say in the week? We’ve averaged marginally over a point a game for the whole of 2016 with the British/Irish core of players, they aren’t very good. They are poor Championship players at a real push, keep picking them as the heartbeat of your team and you’ll get relegated or very close to it. Not happy at all with Lambert’s selection, doing that once as a makeshift “get a 0-0 away from home” team in your first game is just about ok. Not at home when you’ve been making noises about playing from the front foot. Aside from the opening 10 minutes where we outworked Wednesday (and not much else), we giftwrapped these three points for them. They didn’t have to do anything. Didn’t get out of second gear. I said to the guys in the pub before and after the game, I could have done Carvalhal’s team talk for them. It’s easy. Here it goes.
“Hunt and Wallace, you boys down the right have got nothing to worry about defensively so just play your own game. They’ve got a fat, shite right back who’ll only ever cut inside and a crap central midfielder down there. Fill your boots. Back line, step up 5-10 yards from where you normally stand, they’ve got no-one to run in behind. Midfield, again don’t worry about them, no creativity, they’ll run around but they’ll let you play. Their defence will make a mistake or two so just bide your time. They won’t try to keep the ball at all so just bide your time for possession, no need to press too hard. Enjoy.”
We’re in a relegation fight now, make no mistake about that. And the answer is not picking these shitehawks or playing for 0-0s.
Lonergan: Kicks like a 4 year old. Couldn’t do much about the goals but he is what he always has been, a poor Championship keeper with a highlight reel. 3
Iorfa: What has happened here? Put us in the shit for the second goal with a woeful five yard pass and nearly repeated the trick in the second half. I like the guy but that doesn’t mean I can’t see when he’s had a shocker and it’s happening all the time at the moment. 2
Stearman: We absolutely mugged Fulham last August to get £2m for him. He goes there and they concede 78 goals…so we bring him back. His one asset of being quick on the turn has gone, he can’t do it any more. So what you’re left with is a casual bastard who strolls around stroking his mullet. Awful. Don’t ever pick him again. 2
Hause: Did at least stand up to the physical presence of Lucas Joao but distribution was awful and lucky not to give away at least one penalty. 3
Doherty: Just wow. This awful, awful cunt would not get a game for Bilston Town. He’s not a footballer. Overweight, stinking attitude, horribly one footed, no defensive ability whatsoever, can’t run, can’t turn, can’t tackle, can’t mark, can’t jump, isn’t even any good going forward and we have him contracted until 2019. I’ve said it before about him, he was a £100k Irish league player when we bought him and he’s an Irish league player now. He is a total liability, he will constantly cost you goals at this level. Hate is a strong word. I fucking hate Matt Doherty. Rip his contract up, I never want to see him ever again. 0
Price: Tries hard, really though he’s just a neat and tidy cog in a wheel. Stick a dominant presence like an on form McDonald or what I think Saiss could be, and he’d probably look ok. In this team he looks like a little boy lost. 4
Coady: Did a bit of Dennis Bergkamp skill to engineer our only first half chance…followed it up with a Dennis Pearce finish. Rubbish footballer, £2m for that? I’ve seen more accomplished players down the park. Can’t play as a defensive midfielder, can’t attack so what really is he doing? 3
Saville: Newsflash everyone, George Saville can’t play on the left wing. This was a shocking selection by Lambert because you’re completely negating any threat down that side and he isn’t even that good at tracking back. I tell you what, I’m not going to rate him. I wouldn’t rate Olly Murs on his DIY skills or Gordon Ramsey on his ability to drive an F1 car. N/A
Costa: The only one in the first half who looked to do anything, he had a couple of runs which came to nothing. Basically he’s our only attacking outlet and in the process doesn’t have that much end product. I feel sorry for him, I bet he wants to leave. 4
Edwards: Played more or less up front in the first half. Played sort of on the right in the second half. Was crap at both. We all know he’s a great pro but he wasn’t good enough years ago and nothing has changed. If he’s going to be the fulcrum of a Lambert team then I’m not sure I want to see it. 2
Bodvarsson: Yeah, the service to him is dreck. But he really isn’t offering anything at all to us at the moment. Maybe he might in a genuine front two, maybe he might if we played a bit more football (we played none yesterday). At the moment he may as well not be on the pitch, he’s playing like Sig did last season without the stick from the crowd. 2
Subs: Dicko gave us a bit of impetus, gave us an outball down the channels, tried one shot from a silly angle when he should have crossed or waited for support. Teixeira came on with seemingly no instructions, played nowhere and might have got sent off on another day. Cavaleiro missed a sitter but the game was gone by then. A collective 3 for effort alone.
I’m not happy.