The grand pappy of them all.
Imagine if we'd re-signed Darren Ferguson after he had a couple of reasonable seasons at Wrexham. This is the centre forward version of that nightmare.
Mr Blobby was a painfully unfunny comic creation. But watching the real thing try to play football was infinitely worse.
Some people are too tall for their own good. It can't be healthy to be breathing thin air for your entire life.
If a shop was selling "broken kettles", I doubt you'd buy one of them. Graham Taylor knew better though.
A fall from grace with the speed and dignity of Milli Vanilli.
You know how fans often shout "I could have done better than that" at footballers? When it was aimed at Darren Ferguson, I think they were mostly right.
If doctors ever need evidence that Glenn Hoddle needs sectioning for the good of everyone, send them this piece.
Episode four of our cavalcade of crap asks "if Mark Atkins is the answer, what is the question?"
Day 3 of the rundown of tat gives us a man with less fight than Audley Harrison.